January 4, 2009
Rev. Kip Gilts

           Happy New Year!  I hope that 2009 has gotten off to a great start for you and that it has already included time with people you love.  For the last several years I have sought to launch new year sermons with messages about the home and family.  It is my opinion that these are in constant danger of being fragmented by busy schedules, a demand for independence, and increased technology.  We were at the home of some friends between Christmas and New Year’s Day and the 23 year old son was sitting at the table with his hands politely folded in his lap rather than with his elbows resting on the table.  His mother leaned back and looked under the table while asking, “Are you texting at the table again?” He was innocent, but my guess is that may not always be the case.  I want to talk about home and closeness with our families this month.

Turning a house into a home is a common cliché, but just how do we do that?  The very first thing most of us do is to get some furniture.  An empty house just does not feel that homey.  There are three pieces of furniture that have produced a sense of home for me.  They are on nearly every set for a movie or television show that features families.  They have been in every home in which I have ever lived.  They are a sofa, a table, and a bed.  Let’s start with the living room, because as guests that is usually where we start, we are invited into the living room where more often than not a sofa is present.  Sofas can be rather awkward for guests, especially new guests.  Where do you sit on the sofa? How do you talk to your hosts if they are seated on the sofa with you? This is seldom a problem for family members.  We are comfortable with sofas and if there are five of us, we can all fit on the same sofa that would have made three guests feel uncomfortably close.

I remember two vivid moments on the family sofa.  One of them occurred when I was a boy and the other since I have been a dad. They were powerful and painful times, but they are forever etched in my mind.  The first one came in 1968 at the height of the Civil Rights Movement.  Detroit was less than 100 miles away and was in the midst of riots.  My dad sat us all on the couch and looked at his five boys with the utmost seriousness.  He said, “Never judge a person by the color of the skin.”  He went on to tell us of friends that he had had for years and men with whom he had served in the army who were of a different color than he was, but that they were no better or worse than him because of the color of their skin.  That was one lesson that I learned on the sofa, and I have never forgotten it.

The other sofa moment occurred on September 11, 2001.  I was in Galveston on a sermon planning retreat when the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked by terrorists.  As soon as the shock wore off enough for the four of us pastors to move, we knew we needed to go home to our families and be with them.  I met my kids on the sofa, where we formed a “daddy sandwich” with a child on each side and me in the middle.  I don’t remember saying anything as profound as my dad had more than thirty years earlier, I just held them and together we wept as we watched violence hurled upon the innocent.  I needed them and they needed Tammy and me.

The sofa is a very special piece of furniture for me.  It is where a lot of memories are made.  Some things are worth remembering. I like to think that the author of Proverbs had a sofa and that in his wiser days he sat his children on the sofa, stood before them, and gave lifelong instructions.  This is the scene I imagine as I read one of the most beautiful passages in the Bible – Proverbs 6:20-22.  Hear now the Word of the Lord:

²⁰My child, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. ²¹Bind them upon your heart always; tie them around your neck.
²²When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.

This is the word of God for the people of God.  In this passage the author of Proverbs encouraged his readers to always keep the instruction of their youth.  Let us pray.

This morning I invite to join me on the sofa, not as a guest, but as a family member.  We can all fit, just sit kind of cozy and discover that some things are worth remembering. 
 

Remember the Mitzvah and the Torah

There are a handful of Hebrew words that I remember and cherish.  Mitzvah and Torah are two of these words.  The mitzvah has to do with expectations; they are the “oughts” of life.  The torah has to do with the teachings laid out for us throughout our lives.  The author of Proverbs 6 insisted that the readers of this passage always keep the mitzvah of their fathers and never forsake the torah of their mothers.  It is a fitting family image, for the father has for millennia laid out the expectations, “When I come home, the back yard had better be mowed, your bed made, and the trash taken out.”  While the mom shows the child where the lawnmower is, how to make a bed, and where the liners are for the trash can.  I know these are stereotypes that may be outdated in many homes, but trust me, they are still quite prevalent.  Of course, the more important truths are the mitzvah and torah to which the author referred.  They were not lawn mowing, bed making, or trash taking.  These were common words that had to do with the commandments or expectations and teaching or instructions of God that were to be passed down from generation to generation.  When Jesus was asked about these and which one was the greatest, he laid it out quite simply, “The first is, ‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31)

My mom and dad taught me a lot on the sofa of our home.  The mitzvah of my father was to love and respect others equally.  The torah of my mother was that even though she had eight children, she loved each of us with her whole heart.  I never doubted the sincerity of either of these and remember them to this day.  What are the mitzvah of your father and the torah of your mother?  Feel free to write them down in your bulletin by these words in the printed scripture.  More important than these are the mitzvah and torah of God that have been passed down through this book -   Expectations to seek God and serve others, instructions to love completely. 

What a great place to start the new year, all of us together on the family sofa and affirming that some things are worth remembering.    
 

Remember to take the Mitzvah and Torah with you always

The author encouraged his readers to bind the mitzvah and torah, the expectations and instructions, on their heart always and tie them around their necks.  Even today you can find orthodox Jews with the mitzvah and the torah fastened around their necks.  Tephilim are tiny lockets with passages of scripture enclosed in them, often it is Deuteronomy 6:4-6 from which Jesus quoted as the greatest commandment.  Deuteronomy 6:7, speaking of the commandments states, “Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. ⁸Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead.”  These expectations and instructions were not to be taken lightly.

I like the imagery of binding them upon your heart and tying them around your neck.  There are times in my life when God has spoken to my heart and that is enough and other times when he has had to turn my neck, more like a horse with a bit and bridle.  The week before Christmas I was in such a hurry that I parked my car on the street and paid to park close to my office to save some steps and some very precious time.  Of course, the howling north wind also persuaded me to take the shortest route.  I grabbed my computer and was racing into the church when I was approached by a man needing some help for his family.  I quickly said, “I don’t have time,” and continued.  Then the bit in my mouth tightened and my neck was turned back to this man in need only days before my sermon on there being no room in the inn.  “Hold on, here maybe this will help.”  I am not sure that it was as much as God wanted me to give, I am confident that it was not more.  There are times when it is a gentle whisper to my heart and other times when it is a firm tug on my neck that the mitzvah and torah, the expectations and instructions of God, passed down through the generations, guide me to do the right thing.

As we move into this new year, I invite you to take these with you wherever you go, because some things are worth remembering.
 

Remember that with these you are never alone

Verse 22 is what makes this passage so special to me.  There are three verbs in this one verse that I want you to see.  They are all in the imperfect tense, which means that they are continuous, “When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.”  The word “lead” carries with the image of ushering you into a new place, wherever that may be.  The word translated, “watch over” describes a watchman whose job it is to guard the gates of the city, allowing the citizens to rest comfortably.  The word translated “talk” can also mean “sing”, as if these mitzvah and torah, expectations and instructions of our parents, sing to us as we open our eyes.  How comforting this is! 

I often read this at the passing of a generation, when both the matriarch and patriarch have died.  It has been described to me as an anxious place to be.  Just last week, I attended the funeral of a friend.  Her husband had died about four years ago and she died on Christmas Eve.  All of a sudden her three children are parentless and find themselves amazed at how often they had leaned on their mom and dad through their adult years for support, understanding, and guidance.  What a jewel this passage has been to so many families who read this and are assured that those lessons and memories that mean so much to them are not buried with the body of a deceased loved one, but live on leading, watching over and even singing to them.

It has been a refreshing week for me as I prepared this sermon.  I have had time to sit on the sofa and remember the mitzvah and torah, the expectations and teachings, of my parents and grandparents.  Time does not allow me to reflect any more on those, and they may not mean as much to you, but I would guess that you have some things that you have learned on the sofa of your homes.  This week I encourage you to treasure these, because some things are worth remembering.  Amen.