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Paola was 23 when she came to America from Switzerland. She stayed with us for nine months helping us care for Chelsea during her first year of life. Paola came to America speaking four languages quite well: Italian, French, German, and English. In her year in Houston, she also learned Spanish and Portuguese saying that they were fairly easy languages to learn.

It is essential to be multilingual in the love languages. Chances are you live with someone who speaks a different language than you do. If you have children they may speak a different love language than either of their parents. When it comes to a church where we are instructed to love one another, the languages add up and the dialects multiply. Fortunately, today’s language taken from the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is the easiest foreign language to learn according to Dr. Chapman. It is the language of Gifts of Love. “Quality Time”, is the hardest foreign language to learn. That’s why Max Mertz will be speaking on that next week for our Wesley Sunday.

Today we focus on “Gifts of Love”. Some people speak this language fluently. Such was Janice who Dr. Chapman mentions in The Five Love Languages. When they were dating Jim spoke the language well to Janice. He brought her flowers and all sorts of small gifts. He was speaking her language. She liked getting stuff.

Jacob strikes me as that kind of guy. In fact, if he didn’t receive gifts, he found other ways to get them. Jacob and Esau were twins and as is the case with all twins, they knew which one was the older. It was Esau. While that might not be a big deal in the 21 st century, it was a huge deal 4,000 years ago. By being the oldest, Esau would receive twice the inheritance of Jacob. This was his birthright. By being the oldest he would receive his father’s blessing of prosperity, political power and providential protection. What a difference a few minutes made.

Jacob liked stuff. He tricked Esau out of his birthright and tricked his daddy out of the blessing. Esau was furious about the blessing and threatened to kill Jacob as soon as his daddy died. Since Isaac was sick, Jacob thought it might be best for him to leave. And he did - for 20 years!

But life with the in-laws started getting too tough for Jacob so he headed back home. He sent an ambassador to tell Esau he was coming home and had a present for his brother - a big, wonderful present. The ambassador returned with word that Esau was coming personally with 400 men to greet Jacob. Jacob freaked out.

He divided his family into two companies at first, then three companies later. If Esau attacked one company the others were instructed to run away. Then he prayed and finally he packaged a present for his brother.

We pick up the story there in Genesis 33 where the two brothers meet after two decades of separation. We’ll read the first eleven verses of this chapter found on page 30 of your Old Testament. Hear now the word of the Lord:

Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. He put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. He himself went on ahead of them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.

But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?”

Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” Then the maids drew near, they and their children, and bowed down; Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down; and finally Joseph and Rachel drew near, and they bowed down.

Esau said, “What do you mean by all this company that I met?”

Jacob answered, “To find favor with my lord.”

But Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.”

Jacob said, “No, please; if I find favor with you, then accept my present from my hand; for truly to see your face is like seeing the face of God – since you have received me with such favor. Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have everything I want.” So he urged him, and he took it.

The Word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God.

In this passage the author of Genesis reviewed for his readers the reconciliation of brothers facilitated by the giving and receiving of gifts. We learn something about this love language in this passage. It will cost you, but it will be worth every bit of it. Let us pray.

Gifts of love communicate a great deal to those who speak the language. They communicate reconciliation, appreciation, and admiration.

Gifts of love communicate repentance and reconciliation.

Jacob knew he had done Esau wrong. He had exploited Esau’s hunger and bought his birthright with a bowl of stew. He had deceived his blind father, Isaac, and stole Esau’s blessing which could not be revoked or transferred. Once words were spoken they had a life and energy of their own. So Jacob came to Esau repentant. He bowed seven times while his brother ran to hug his neck, not wring it. Jacob’s family bowed in submission, extending the posture of repentance. Jacob had sent the present in advance. 220 goats, 220 sheep, 30 camels with colts, 50 head of cattle and 30 donkeys. It was a big present, but then Walter Bruegemann states in his commentary on Genesis, “There’s no such thing as cheap reconciliation.” When Esau asked why so much stuff, Jacob said “To find favor with my lord.” In other words, to say, “I’m sorry.”

Gifts of love often communicate that message. I typed into one of those search engines on the internet, the phrase, “gifts that say ‘I’m sorry’” and wound up with about 5,940,000 sites including one address which is www.imsorry.com. The site says, “We have developed imsorry.com to help make the world a better place… An apology, simply saying, “I’m sorry” is an act that can change the world.” From this site one can send an e-pology or a personalized “I’m sorry card.” Apparently there are a lot of people who speak this language. I must confess, though this is not my primary love language, I have both given and received gifts of love that communicate a desire for reconciliation. Have you? It will cost you, but it will be worth every bit of it. You’re speaking the language of gifts of love.

Gifts of love also communicate gratitude and appreciation.

I can only imagine how relieved Jacob was when his brother and he were reconciled. They hugged, they wept and they spoke to each other after 20 years of separation. In fact, Esau was so glad to see his brother that he told him the gifts were not necessary for reconciliation. All was well. But Jacob insisted using a little different phrase in verse 10, “if I find favor with you, then accept my present from my hand”. It seems as though the present is now carrying the message of gratitude and appreciation. No longer is he trying to buy his brother’s forgiveness with the gift that says “I’m sorry.” Now he is saying “Thank you, my friend” with 220 goats, 220 sheep, 30 camels with colts, 50 head of cattle and 30 donkeys.

We often express appreciation through gifts of love. We give thank you presents and birthday gifts of appreciation. My friend, Steve, is one day older than I am. Both of us have June birthdays so we are often vacationing together on our birthdays. About five years ago we were doing just that on the coast of Maine. Four families were together again as we have done for more than ten years. On Steve’s birthday all the guys were going Mackerel fishing out of Boothbay Harbor. The day started off a little rough for Steve. He woke up sick and could not go with us. We hated to leave him, but had prepaid for the trip. We wound up having a fun time fishing and afterward thought to buy Steve a birthday present – a nice shirt that said, “Boothbay Harbor”.

His face lit up when we gave him his present. Even when he discovered that we bought it with his money that was refunded for his missing the excursion. He remarked that he wished the trip had cost more. Funny, we thought it was a joke, but I’ve seen that shirt on Steve for five years. When I ask him about where he got the shirt, he smiles and says, “It was a birthday present.”

Even under goofy circumstances, we like being thought of and appreciated. Gary Chapman wrote that when we give a gift to someone, we are communicating that we were thinking of someone and that we appreciate that person. Do you know someone who speaks this love language? You might want to pick up a gift for that person and let them know you were thinking of and that you appreciate him or her. It will cost you, but it will be worth every bit of it.

Gifts of Love communicate love and admiration.

Jacob was insistent that Esau receive his gift, but his motive seemed to evolve through the interchange. At first he said he was giving it “to find favor” that is, “I’m sorry.” Then he said he wanted Esau to receive it “if I find favor with you”, that is “Thank you”. Later in verse 10 he said, “to see your face is like seeing the face of God.” Then he urged him to receive his gift of love. Jacob had gone from telling his brother “I’m sorry” to “Thank you” to “I love you, bro” with his gift of 220 goats, 220 sheep, 30 camels with colts, 50 head of cattle and 30 donkeys.

Haven’t you ever been at a point where your love simply must be expressed through this love language? When Chelsea was a little girl, I read the book, Alice in Wonderland to her every night until we finished the book. It was such a great thing between us that one day I was in Toys R Us and bought her a wooden chess set. She had remarked that she wanted to learn how to play chess. I wrapped it up and put a note on it, “Happy Un-birthday to you. Love, Dad.” We remembered the un-birthday tea party from the book. Sometimes you find yourself so filled with admiration that you simply must speak through gifts of love. It will cost you, but it will be worth every bit of it.

Do you remember Janice that Gary Chapman wrote about in this chapter of the Five Love Languages? She loved those little gifts Jim brought her when they were dating. But once they said, “I do” the gifts stopped coming. Jim never even gave her a card – ever. He said, “It’s a waste of money; you look at a card and throw it away.”

But after looking into the Five Love Languages, he realized that Gifts of Love was Janice’s love language and though he loved her he had failed to communicate his admiration through a language she understood. He said nothing about this discovery, but on Monday he brought her a rose, on Tuesday he brought home pizza (he never brought home pizza, because it was cheaper to eat at home), on Wednesday he gave her a potted plant and to their kids he gave Cracker Jacks, on Thursday he bought her a card and even signed it, on Friday he brought home everyone’s favorite cookies from the cookie store in the mall and on Saturday he took her out for date. That’s when he came clean. He said he realized he had not been speaking her language for years. He apologized and sought reconciliation. He thanked her for being his wife and expressed appreciation. He told her he loved her and communicated admiration. It transformed their marriage which they claimed to be a miracle.

When was the last time you communicated reconciliation, appreciation, or admiration through the token of a gift? Try it this week. You may be speaking someone’s native language - Gifts of Love. It will cost you, but it will be worth every bit of it.

Amen.