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| Date of Sermon: January 8, 2006 |
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The Loverings, I have discovered are a multi lingual family. Gene speaks German, Carol speaks Spanish, Lauren speaks Russian and Martha speaks English (thank goodness). I wonder though, what their after-church, “Where are we going for lunch?” conversation might sound like. (Ask the four to discuss the matter in four languages. Martha starts with, “Where would you like to go for lunch?” and the other three speak other languages. Skit ends with Martha saying in exasperation, “Why can’t we all speak the same language?!”) Believe it or not, this kind of exchange happens in most homes on most days. We may not be speaking English, Spanish, Russian and German, but we most likely are speaking different love languages. Gary Chapman wrote a book in 1992 that hit the New York Times Bestseller list. It is entitled, The Five Love Languages. Dr. Chapman identifies five primary languages in which persons express love and experience love. Those love languages are:
For the next five weeks we’re going to look at these love languages and what they have to do with you, me and the relationships in which we find ourselves. The first love language is Words of Affirmation. Whoever made up the rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” was a fool and a person whose primary love language was not Words of Affirmation. Words matter . Moses may very well have spoken this language fluently. He was deeply wounded by criticism and powerfully encouraged by praise. His last moments on earth were affirming moments. All by himself, at 120 years old, he climbed to the top ridge of Mt Nebo in present day Jordan , on the east coast of the Dead Sea . There the Lord showed him the Promised Land. His job was to lead Israel to it. Joshua would lead Israel in it. He looked in a circular fashion, beginning at his feet and moving north, northwest, west, southwest, south, southeast and back to his feet. Then Moses died and was buried (verse six, seems to hint that the Lord himself buried Moses). It is the last three verses, however, that I want you to hear. Listen to these wonderful words of affirmation. (Deuteronomy 34:10-12). Hear now the Word of the Lord:
In this passage we read the epitaph for a grave that could not be found. Let us pray. Words matter. I looked up a few epitaphs to see what words were written about other famous people.
Moses epitaph is written in these last three verses of the books of Moses, the Torah, the Pentateuch. On the grave that no one knows are these words:
Words Matter.
Words Have the Power to Affirm One’s Work. Moses worked hard and worked faithfully. In Egypt he was used by God to bring ten plagues forcing Pharaoh’s hand to let the people of Israel flee from slavery. In the wilderness he was used by God to bring Ten Commandments down from the mountain, manna from the earth, quail from the heavens and water from the rocks. He was awesome and these words affirm his work. Gary Chapman asked in his book, The Five Love Languages, “What would happen to the emotional climate of a marriage if the husband and wife heard words of affirmation regularly?” Every first Friday night of the month in downtown San Antonio there is an event simply called First Friday. Restaurants stay open, galleries and gift shops have extended hours, booths are set up and hundreds of people mingle in about a one-mile stretch of South Alamo . One of the busiest spots on the strip is a courtyard where a sign sits upon a tripod that reads, “Free Encouraging Words.” People line up for strangers to look in their eyes and affirm them with words. Many recipients walk away with warm smiles and some with streaming tears emanating from starving souls. Words matter. Take the time this week to affirm the work of another. What has she done or he done that ought to be affirmed? When the Lord told his parable of talents successfully employed, he gave the master the words, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” in Matthew 25: 21 and 23. Words have the power to affirm one’s work.
Words Have the Power to Affirm One’s Worth. P.C. Craigie wrote in his commentary on Deuteronomy, “Moses was a prophet, but in his epitaph it is not his knowledge of God that is stressed, but rather the Lord’s knowledge of him.” Therein was his worth found, as it is in each of us. Moses was described as one “whom the Lord knew face to face.” He was loved by God. Chapman stated in his opening chapter of The Five Love Languages, “Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.” That is, our very sense of worth is tied to this need to feel loved. Fred Craddock masterfully tells a story of meeting a man one night in Gatlinburg , Tennessee . Dr. & Mrs. Craddock were on vacation when a white-haired man approached their table. When he found out Dr. Craddock taught preachers how to preach, he said, “I’ve got a story to tell you.” He said, “My name is Ben Hooper and I was born not far from here. My mother wasn’t married when I was born, so I had a pretty hard time. My schoolmates called me names and on Saturday afternoons when I went to town, it felt like every eye was burning a hole through me, wondering just who my father was.” He continued his story, “When I was 12 years old, a new preacher came to our church. I would always go in late and slip out early. But one day the preacher said the benediction so fast I got caught and had to walk out with the crowd… Just about the time I got to the door, I felt a big hand on my shoulder. I looked up and the preacher was looking right at me.” “Who are you son? Whose boy are you?” he asked. I felt this big weight coming down on me. Even the preacher was putting me down. But as he looked down on me studying my face, he began to smile with a big smile of recognition. “Wait a minute!” he said. “I know who you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God.” The man told Dr. Craddock, “Those were the most important words anyone ever said to me and I’ve never forgotten them.” As he walked away, Dr. Craddock remembered where he’d heard the name Ben Hopper before. He’d heard it in Tennessee History class when he memorized the names of the governors of Tennessee . Words matter. Whose worth can you affirm with your words this week?
Words matter. Now I know some of you must be wondering what the title of the sermon has to do with words of affirmation. The title actually comes from the last line of the 1995 movie “Babe” – the only movie with talking animals that ever brought a tear to my eye. I watched the movie again this week and discovered that the entire movie is about the power of words of affirmation. That’s how Babe adjusted to life on the farm when the champion sheepdog, Fly, spoke to him with kindness. That’s how this pig began herding sheep, by speaking words of affirmation to the sheep. That’s how Babe became a champion himself, as Farmer Hoggett sang to him:
And when all was said and done and everyone was at a loss for words, the one who’d spoken the fewest words of anyone knew just what to say. (Look at the last scene of the movie about Words of Affirmation.) “That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do.” Words matter. Now while I must advise against directly quoting this last line to your spouse, children or friends, I do invite you to interpret it to them. Use words of affirmation this week. You may just be speaking someone’s language. Words matter. Amen.
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